Blog Archive
- 2012
- 2011
-
2010
- December (21)
- November (24)
- October (35)
- September (37)
- August (34)
- July (26)
- June (20)
- May (25)
- April (27)
-
March (25)
- BRM HOT TUB?
- MISSIVES NOT FROM SXSW: THE TXT I GET FROM LYLE AT 3:20 AM LAST NIGHT.
- I CAN'T DECIDE IF I'M OVER CHOREOGRAPHED DANCE SEQUENCES A LA GAP ADS FEIST VIDEOS 500 DAYS OF SUMMER AND NOW THE NEW SHE AND HIM VIDEO. PLUS A NOTE ABOUT SXSW.
- CAN SOMEBODY TELL ME IF ANYTHING HAPPENED AT THE ANIMAL COLLECTIVE SHOW LAST NIGHT??
- Who Broke The Phone?
- February (28)
- January (25)
-
2009
- December (21)
- November (24)
- October (35)
- September (37)
- August (34)
- July (26)
- June (20)
-
May (25)
- A Troll With No Name
- Here's Johnny (sigh)
- Happy JV Day!
- BANK ROBBER TREND REPORT '09: THE NEW CATCHPHRASES
- BOWERBIRDS MAKE GORGEOUS NEW ALBUM!
- Craptastic Wednesday
- BANK ROBBER PSA: WE DID NOT GO SEE STAR TREK THIS WEEKEND
- EVERYTHING OLD IS NEW AGAIN THE SEQUEL: Dinosaur Jr. / Superchunk
- Post Derby Blues
-
April (27)
- EVERYTHING OLD IS NEW AGAIN: CORNELIUS!
- BANK ROBBER MUSIC DOES SUMMER FOOTWEAR!
- ARMY NAVY MAKE ANOTHER GREAT VIDEO SENDING UP THE PROCESS OF MAKING GREAT VIDEOS
- Pop goes the music (thank god!)
- Marathon Man
- FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION: THE WOODEN BIRDS
- BANK ROBBER GOES TO THE CINEMA: TEAM LOVE EDITION
- BRM mixing the G with the OY
- THE PAINS OF BEING PURE AT HEART ARE READY FOR THEIR CLOSE-UP
- AKRON FAMILY: A PHOTOSET
- Breaking News: Nada Surf Re-launch
-
March (25)
- BREAKING NEWS: YEAH YEAH YEAH'S DEFEND CRAPPY NEW ALBUM WITH PREDICTABLY IDIOTIC STATEMENT
- BREAKING NEWS: BILL CALLAHAN MAKES BEST ALBUM OF 2009. STILL SAD.
- Lost With Rockville
- A Old Man Goes To Austin
- THE OBLIGATORY EVERYBODY IS AT SXSW BUT ME POST
- HEY LOOK WE'RE AWESOME!!!!
- BREAKING NEWS: THE NY TIMES THINKS BISHOP ALLEN ARE "PROFESSIONAL"
- Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
- NOBODY WATCHES THE WATCHMEN
- A BANK ROBBER BLOG PUBLIC SERVICE ANOUNCEMENT
- February (28)
- January (25)
- 2008
-
2007
- December (21)
- November (24)
-
October (35)
- HAPPY HOLLOWEEN!!!!
- THE SHOUT OUT LOUDS!!!!!!!!
- Best Reality Show Ever?
- BEST SIDE PROJECT EVER!!!
- CMJ RECAP 2007?
- Putting the "J" in CMJ
- CHUTES TOO NARROW?
- THE FIERY FURNACES ARE CRAZY
- SPOON PLAYED SNL/SETH ROGEN STILL HUSKY
- TV Eye: SNL Vs. Chuck
- ZE NEWZ ZOUNDS OV FAT CAT!!!!
- RADIOHEADZ THE MUZIK INDUSTRIEZ DEAT FREEZ FROM NEWZ MUSICS FROM ZE PHOSPHORESCENT!
-
September (37)
- THE CARIBOU BAND
- NJ ROCKS: Ridgewood/Vanderslice
- JENS LEKMAN: THE NEXT KANYE WEST
- "GET OFF OF MY STAG"
- Shout Out Louds/P'Fork
- BEAKING NEWS: MADONNA APPARENTLY NO LONGER BRITISH, NOW ISREALI
- "THE SALMON DANCE"
- "THEY HATE US FOR OUR FREEDOM"
- TV Eye: The Emmy's and BRM
- IT'S BEIRUT, BITCH!
- IT'S L'SHANA TOVA, BITCH!
- ROCKAPELLA BY ASSOCIATION!
- The Clientele vs. PB and J
- More Jews and More Tennis!
-
August (34)
- Okkervil River Frenzy
- Heineken Light Not "Light" On Your Pocket
- BJORN BORG!!!!!!!
- OWEN WILSON WTF!?!?!?!?!
- YOUR WEEKLY BRM HOROSCOPE
- TV Eye: Californication
- Mumblebore: The New Talkies
- Totally Wired
- RIP Jerry's
- NJ ROCKS
- Imac and Honeycut!
- Jenn Grant Joe's Pub
- Happy Birthday To Us!
- Top Chef: Mexican Radio
Subscription
RSS Feedblog
JOANNA "JOYCE" NEWSOM
Posted by Hartley On Feb 26, 2010

I TOTES think my girlfriend looks like this.
Few words strike fear in the heart of the poor Bank Robber like "Double Album." You can imagine our collective enthusiasm when we all heard that Joanna Newsom's new record, Have One On Me (Drag City), would be a triple album!?!?!?!? Not only that, but three whole CD's worth of songs whose median lengths exceeded the 6 minute mark all lead us to believe that this record would be as licensable as a new John Cage piece. Well guess what? Surprise, IT IS COMPLETELY UNWORKABLE. Chorus' are few. Are there even chorus'? Verses sound like bridges. No parts are repeated twice or maybe they are repeated but they are repeated like five songs later or what feels like five songs later. I put Have One On Me on and ordered dinner, had dinner delivered, ate said dinner, digested, and then worked up an appetite again, and Miss J was still humming off in the distance about broken hearts and using words that only I know the meaning of...like "Shunt" (it means "a tiny passageway"). Sad that I know this. In truth, Newsom has made a record that perhaps makes sense only to herself, most hipsters living in the greater Brooklyn area who are pretending to understand it, the ghost of James Joyce, and freaks like me and my highschool girlfriend who managed to read the entire Canterbury Tales in two nights. Other than those folks, this album makes about as much sense as the fine print of a warranty policy at Best Buy. I am sure any minute Harvard will have a course dedicated to it.
All hope may be not lost though. The mighty braintrust at my old stomping grounds Pitchfokmedia recently lavished Have one.. with a 9.2 and their "Best New Music" tag. So now everyone will have to like it/pretend to like it. Furthermore, there are some really beautiful moments if you can put in the time hacking your way through the weeds. "Good Intentions Pavement Company" may be a trillion minutes long, but it's still the best Laura Nyro-influenced jam I've heard...well...ever. And it features a beautiful metaphor about love and opening a honey jar which has been quoted in about a thousand other reviews so I will spare you reading it again here. It's also important to note that "Good Intentions Pavement Company" takes it's idiosyncratic title from a reference to the Jewish modernist author Saul Bellow. Joanna has made a literary record, a record about words for those who love language and books and stuff. I dig it and will put in the time. "In California" is a gorgeous enough love song to keep me interested. I can't help wishing, though, that after making two back to back albums of long-ass cryptic overly-literate brainy elfin folk music, Joanna will let her hair down the next time around. Don't be scared of the Modern Age Jo Jo. Synthesizers sound good. A nice chorus too.
Joanna Newsom's Have One On Me is out now on Drag City.
Share