BRM BOY:
Hi and welcome back to another installment of BRNEWS – where we go full SNL and milk a funny idea completely dry! Maybe next week Toonses the driving cat and Mr. Bill will be on our panel? Maybe we will get some celebrities to play them? Get ready to scream at celebs you recognize! This week our esteemed returning panelist including
Liberal White Lady:
Oh hi, honey.
Grouchy White Guy:
Where is my pedicure? You promised me a pedicure on an albino leopard’s back
BRM Boy:
Filling in for Heathcliff who was filling in for Garfield last week is Woodstock.
Woodstock:
BRM BOY:
Also joining us this week is lord emperor, and owner of a lot of bling: THANOS.
Thanos:
So many music placement companies in the world – I think we’d be better with half of them.
BRM BOY:
OK Thanos…..Why don’t we get to our new videos of the week – let us start off with off with a new band featuring members of New Order and Devo in the can’t miss licensing jam of the week “Celebrate” by ShadowParty.
Grouchy White Guy:
Did you say SHADOW PARTY? Oh yes. America is UNDER ATTACK! You see, George Soros and Hillary Clinton…and don’t forget the commies – they are coming for us. But wait we like them now – well it is Karl Marx’s son – Zeppo – that guy is going to bring down our country, or at least half of it.
Thanos:
HALF? Wait that is my idea….
BRMB:
I’m starting to notice a trend with you Thanos. Moving on. Liberal White Lady? What are your thoughts on Kat Edmonson’s particular brand of throwback pop? Specifically, her new video for “Sparkle And Shine?”
LWL:
See, this is what Grouchy White Guy doesn’t get about women today. Kat is a force of positive energy in the world, and she doesn’t need the approval of blockheads like him to feel good about herself!
Woodstock:
LWL:
See, Woodstock gets it. He’s woke!
BRM BOY:
OK, panel now we got a new record and a new version of Beach Slang – but this is stripped down versions and it is called, wait for it, Quiet Slang:
GWG:
Quiet Riot? I LOVE THOSE GUYS! That was the last album I bought. I felt the noise so many times…
Thanos:
Ah I like Quiet Slang instead of Beach Slang, fewer band members (about half!), and especially no drummers!
BRM BOY:
Panel I now have the new video by Jesse Marchant – this beautiful string based ballad was filmed live at Dreamland studio.
LWL:
In a non-body shaming, non-objectifying way, I will say that boy, oh boy, he is very talented.
Thanos:
I think the video should have fewer people in it? Why not one synth player instead of all those string players….let me take care of that. And why does the piano have 88 keys? I think 44 should do the trick. brb.
BRM BOY:
Panel have you heard Ruler yet? A great new band made even better since it is produced by BRM favorite Michael Lerner of Telekineses!
LWL:
Speaking of woke oh no Woodstock can’t stop talking
Woodstock:
OK, so this is the deal, Snoopy is a jerk, he has some photos of me doing stuff I rather not talk about with a cat (oh the horror), so I’m basically his slave. Trapped inside a dog house that is also a fighter pilot airplane from WWI??? HELP ME! This has been going over for over 50 years! Did you know I’m supposed to be a canary – but Snoopy has messed me up so bad that I can only fly in circles and land on my head so I’m more penguin then canary at this point. If not I’d just fly away to live with Snoopy’s much more chill brother, Spike. So if you are reading this message – PLEASE COME RESCUE ME
Thanos:
Do you want to talk Ruler? I am the Ruler of this and all other universes! Too many on this panel. Time to end this joke and for me to sit in a big chair in front of a blue screen… I mean “space” *Snaps fingers*
LWL/AWG/WOODSTOCK:
NOOOOOOOOO
BRM BOY:
Well, that sure was a surprise ending! Looks like only Thanos and I will be around for the sequel? Don’t worry we will bring back this bit before May………