Broadcasting note: This week’s episode of BRNews was taped on Tuesday, June 20th of this week, before The President signed his executive order that halted family separations. While this is a step in the right direction, we thought that this original episode was still fit to air as-is. Besides, didn’t the President spend the better part of a week telling us that he wasn’t able to do this? Until we see evidence of families being kept together, we think the causes mentioned at the end of this episode are still worthy of your donations. Thank you. On with the show!
BRM Boy: Hi again, (Long mournful sigh) this is BRM BOY… disheveled, but ready to host another episode of BRNEWS… Well, the news out there is frightful, so we are going to ignore it for the most part and try to have the happiest news broadcast ever!!!!!!
Let me introduce our esteemed panel for the week: Our first guest, getting ready for his big winter run, is Santa Claus! Hi Santa and welcome to BRNews!
Santa: HOHOHOHO OH NO, YOU’VE BEEN NAUGHTY. IN FACT… EVERYONE HAS BEEN NAUGHTY! GOOD THING WE HAVE ALL THOSE COAL JOBS BACK IN AMERICA, I’M GONNA NEED A LOT OF IT!
BRM BOY: Oy vey…. our second guest back from a long winter break on the east coast. It’s the beach!
The Beach: Surfs up dudes! Lemme make sure I “wave” to everyone at home. Get it? “Wave”? That SHORE was funny!
BRM BOY: Great. The beach is a pun lover… Our next guest, making a very special return to earth is the Starman himself, David Bowie!!!!!!!
David Bowie: Come on people, I leave for a little over a year and the whole world is falling apart? Do I need to get Prince over here or are we gonna right this ship???
BRM BOY: I dunno Mr. Jones, but I do know that our next guest is a box of puppies! Hello, puppies, yes you guys are adorable and everyone loves you, and welcome to our show. Must be great not knowing what is going on in the world these days…..
Box of Puppies: Arf!
BRM Boy: Anyway onto our first video. David. Mr. Bowie sir, we chose this video specifically…
David Bowie: You’re about to show me the new Circuit Des Yeux video now aren’t you?
BRM Boy: I am! The afterlife has given you ESP I take it?
David Bowie: Um… Sure… yeah. These are new powers. Let’s go with that. Anyway, I’m a big fan of CDY, and the new video is boffo.
BRM Boy: That’s great Mr. Bowie. Mr. Bowie?
BRM Boy: Curious…Mr. Bowie seems to have disappeared. Now, box of puppies. We also have a video picked out just for you! It’s the new video from the band Post Animal. And you are a box full of animals, so it makes sense, right?
Box Of Puppies: Bark bark!
BRM Boy: Santa, seeing as how you live at the North Pole, I’m assuming you know all about the cold. That’s why we thought you might have something to say about this new video for the title track from Cold Fronts’ latest album Fantasy Du Jour.
Santa: MY FANTASY IS TO MOVE SOMEWHERE WARM. BEACH? IS THERE ROOM OVER THERE? PLEASE DON’T TELL MS. CLAUS WHERE I’M GOING. I’VE BEEN SLEEPING ON THE COUCH FOR THE LAST 3 MONTHS. THINGS ARE NOT GOOD AT HOME.
BRM Boy: You know Santa, you are NOT what I expected. And can you please stop screaming?
Santa: AND YOU KNOW WHAT BRM BOY? YOU CAN $)%( THAT BOX OF PUPPIES WITH A $(^^)$ @#$) AND YOUR @(%%)# ^)#$ #%) YOU BIG SACK OF #$%( WITH A @#$%( ON TOP.
BRM Boy: Santa man, you’ve sure been naughty…….and perhaps you can shift your fantasy to the “Fantasy Du Jour” video by the Cold Fronts:
Santa: (no longer screaming) You know, that video reminds me of how much fun Mrs. Claus and I used to have doing Karaoke on the weekends. I think I’m going to head home and spend some time with her. Cold Fronts changed my life!
BRM Boy: Up next is Jesse Marchant Live At Dreamland. Do you have anything to say about this video Beach?
Beach: Dreamland is the beach? Right?? I mean sure Jesse Marchant is dreamy, but people dream of the beach, so just close your eyes, hear the wavy waves and feel the sand under your toes and check out the new video by Jesse Marchant “Chaise Lounge For Two For One”
BRM Boy: The video is actually for “Illusion Of Love” Mr. Beach.
Beach: The next video is more my speed, beautiful shots of blue skies – it will TIDE you over until you have time again to visit me, the beach.
BRM Boy: It isn’t all about you all the time… Can’t we just enjoy Marisa Anderson and the video for “Lift”
BRM Boy: Puppies, any comments about the beautiful video for “Lift”?
BRM BOY: Oh man, even the puppies are getting depressed about the current state of affairs……
BRM Boy: Mr. Bowie! You’re back!
Bowie: You know what, I couldn’t take being away with things being such a mess, so besides supporting all the people making music (and BRM BOY), please try to do some of the following while you listen to this lovely cover of Happy Rhodes’ “Where Do I Go” by Marissa Nadler.
- Join the “Families Belong Together Rally” on June 30th in Washington, D.C. Distributed actions will be planned across the country, and details coming soon.
- Purchase something off of the Sacred Heart Amazon Wish List or donate directly to Sacred Heart Church here This is a list of items that the church currently needs. Most pressing items are men’s clothing and undergarments, which are listed at the top.
- Call your Senators – demand ask them to stop Homeland Security from separating children from their parents at the border
- Sign and share this petition – This administration has shown signs that it will bend to public pressure. That tells us that if enough of us raise our voices, we can help end family separation.
- Uplift the work of local organizations and continue the drumbeat online by using #FamiliesBelongTogether. Twitter handles to follow: @ACLUTx @TXCivilRights @netargv@RAICESTEXAS
- National Organizations doing great work on family separation: ACLU, The Florence Project, Kids in Need of Defense (KIND), Women’s Refugee Commission, National Domestic Workers Alliance, the Immigration Hub, Moms Rising, United We Dream
BRM Boy: That’s great Mr. Bowie, and might I say it’s a pleasure to have you back with us. That’s all the time we have for this week. Just a quick programming note, we will not be on the air next week, but tune in for a very special presentation. Thanks!